Navigating the Emotional Challenges of Placing a Parent in Memory Care

Throughout life, we experience a variety of transitions, one of the most significant being when, as adult children, we become a caregiver to a parent. Sometimes, this role is temporary, as with recovery from a short-term illness, injury, or surgery. However, when the issue at hand is Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia, the role of the caregiver typically becomes long-term. 

Senior memory care services provide expert care from healthcare professionals who are trained in the complexities and nuances of dementia. At Buckner Villas, our memory care staff are not only highly skilled but also deeply passionate about the work they do. The Harbor, our certified memory care program, offers comprehensive, around-the-clock supervision and care for full-time residents or families who need short-term respite care services.

Remember, it’s okay to ask for help. Call 512.580.9882 for assistance with memory care planning. 

How to Move a Parent with Dementia into Memory Care

Dementia can be challenging to identify because, in the early stages, symptoms can mimic regular age-related memory loss and because parents may make efforts to mask their symptoms. The decision to move a parent into memory care is different for everyone. 

When dementia is diagnosed early, families have the power to plan and make decisions together, which may include moving into assisted living to adjust to the program before there is a crisis. This proactive approach empowers parents and family members, giving them a sense of control and familiarity with the environment and facilitating a smoother transition into higher levels of care as needed. 

The move can be more difficult in other circumstances, such as when parents want to remain home for as long as possible or when the need for memory care arises from a crisis. No matter the situation, the following tips can help make the move less difficult:

• Do research – Your parents will likely have questions or objections. Thoroughly researching the program will allow you to have answers and manage objections.
• Plan – Having a detailed plan, including packing, arranging transportation, and setting up the new living space with familiar items, can help alleviate some of the stress of the move.
• Transition gradually – When possible, arrange for a gradual transition, where your parent visits the program for a time before permanently moving. 
• Be patient and empathetic. Remember, this is a significant transition for your parents. Patience and empathy are crucial to making the process as smooth and comfortable as possible for them. 
• Downplay the process – Expressing your concerns about the move or repeatedly asking your parent if they are nervous about it can trigger anxiety and heighten resistance. 

While it may seem contradictory to being supportive, it is highly recommended that you avoid visiting your parent during their first week in memory care. These first days are critical for your parent to establish new connections with staff and other residents and settle into the program’s routines. Memory care staff are well-versed in this transition period and will communicate openly about your parent settling in. 

Managing Emotions Around Moving a Parent into Memory Care

Whether moving a parent into memory care is planned or occurs suddenly, it is emotionally challenging. No matter how old we are, the role reversal of becoming a parent’s caregiver is uncomfortable because it feels unnatural. 

Even when you know that moving your parent into memory care is the best decision for their safety and well-being, you may experience a combination of feelings, including relief, guilt, grief, remorse, sadness, loss, or anger. It is essential to your well-being to manage these emotions in healthy ways, including:

• Acknowledge your feelings, accept that they are normal, and allow yourself to experience them rather than suppress them.
• Reach out to friends and family, or find a support group where you can connect with others who have gone through the process.
• Talk with a counselor or therapist who specializes in elder care.
• Take advantage of the family resources available through the memory care program.

Remember that there is no right or wrong way to feel about this significant life transition and that, over time, these feelings will fade as you see your parent flourishing in an environment where you know they are safe and well-cared for. 

Call Today to Schedule a Memory Care Tour at Buckner Villas

As Austin, TX’s premier senior living community, Buckner Villas provides safe, secure memory care in a welcoming, home-like environment. In The Harbor, our memory care program,  residents live at their highest level of independence, with access to around-the-clock care and supervision.

Call 512.580.9882 to schedule a tour and talk with our experienced staff about navigating the challenges of moving your parent to memory care. You can also reach us by completing our online form.